Thank you Mr. Pickup,
Superintendent Peterson, President Kunz, Members of the Board, Mr. Pickup, Mr. Kreiter, teachers, staff and that graduating class of 2013: thank you for the invitation, I’m very happy to be here.
When I got a voicemail from Mr. Pickup a few months ago, the first thought that instinctively ran through my head about attending any “graduation exercises” at his invitation would certainly entail me running wind sprints in the old High School Gym.
But it turns out that it was quite a different invitation. I think the reason I thought this was that everything you have ever heard about Mr. Pickup as a basketball coach, the exceptionally high expectations and standards, the fiery drive to win and his uncanny ability to speak intimately to a referee who is on the opposite side of a gym, is probably true.
And its because of this that I’m so humbled to be here at the invitation of two of my role models, Mr. Pickup and Mrs. Henricksen and sharing the stage with another, Mr. Kreiter. These people have been formative in my own life and most of what you hear in my speech over the next 90 minutes has almost certainly been inspired, in part, by them.
Just kidding - aside from movies you’ll never have to sit in one place for 90 minutes again! And I’ll keep this brief.
I’ve discovered over the past few weeks that giving a commencement address at the age of 26 is challenging. I don’t purport to know nearly as much as your parents and there is no chance in hell that I’ll even come close to the number of YouTube hits that you all helped my friend Brandon get with his proposal earlier this year.
Thanks for that by the way, I don’t know if she would have said yes without you.
But alas, today is your graduation. I’m honored to be here and happy to share with you a few things I’ve picked up over the few years.
Today is your graduation and this occasion deserves praise and recognition. Let me first say a sincere congratulations. Your hard work and dedication got you here today, and that’s worth celebrating.
Your academic, athletic, artistic, service and leadership accolades that have been recounted this afternoon are impressive addendums to your diplomas. I couldn’t get Mr. Pickup off the phone when I asked him about your accomplishments earlier this year so I won’t begin to try to acknowledge them all.
I do, however, personally have a special place in my heart for the new tall football trophy and the fact that you have now measurably proven your academic superiority to our friends up the road on Highway 61.
But all of your individual successes are markers that you are setting yourselves up for bright futures. Congratulations.
While your hard work got you here today, you have been put in a great place to succeed. My own personal experience working in education has rarely been so celebratory as today.
- In this country, in fact, 25% of students who start High School do not finish.
- In Sub-Saharan Africa, only 38% of HS aged children are permitted to enroll in school due to a lack of resources.
First, I’d like to acknowledge and recognize the incredible school and community that helped get you here today. They are, truly, amazing.
Second, however, is to remind you that today is not only your graduation, but today is your commencement. A commencement is a beginning, the start of something new.
While this school and community have built you a solid foundation, its time for you to commence with a new beginning. Its time to commence with vigor and enthusiasm, for the only thing that saddens me more than students not completing their education is people who have opportunity and fail to reach their potential.
As i was preparing for this commencement I couldn’t help but be reminded of a conversation I once had with a friend. While I was in Rwanda I befriended a man named Kennedy, a Ugandan.
Kennedy, like me, was in his early 20s. He was tall, 6 ½ feet, skinny and blacker than the night. He was, at the time, studying to be a priest, specifically to work with poor youth, and had the wisdom of Mother Africa locked inside his 23-year-old skinny stature.
One day while walking through the banana trees Kennedy told me that I had gotten life right.
According to him, I, the recent college graduate spending a year in Africa, was on a quest to find myself. I scoffed. At the time I was sure that Kennedy was on the right track - dedicating his life in service to others had to be the route to fulfillment.
This conversation went on, both of us arguing our points, interestingly tending to use each other’s culture as a moral baseline.
As you begin on your post-graduation journey, this commencement, I think there is something to take away from that conversation.
Find yourself and then give it to others.
Find yourself and then give it to others.
As you walk away from here with your diplomas, you teachers won’t be there to assign readings, your coaches and advisors won’t be the daily presence that they’ve been for the past four years and if you’re leaving home there will be some distance from your parents.
Its time to start crafting the person you want to be: time to find yourself.
Mark Twain once said that “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”
You aren’t going to figure out why you were born today. You won’t figure it out over the summer and I’m here to tell you probably not by the time you are 26.
Because finding yourself is an ever-repeating cycle of trial and error, risk and failure, chance and success, love and heartbreak and if you’re doing it right, plenty of joy. While you won’t figure it all out today, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t start trying.
I can’t tell you exactly how to do this, or what path to take. We humans all do it differently. I do have a few suggestions though. Mostly, I’d just like to challenge you to try new things, work hard and be open to change.
For those of you going to college: dedicate yourself very seriously to your studies. Yes, the parties are fun and you’ll go to them - and thats fine. But remember, they won’t get you any closer to your degrees. Take classes that interest you, try new things and pick a field of study that you love, regardless of what your peers or parents might say.
If you aren’t going to college, that doesn’t mean that you need to stop learning or trying new things. Keep reading and exploring. In fact its even more responsibility for you.
In this quest make sure you find a moral or religious code by which to live your life and don’t be afraid of things you don’t know. The Prophet Mohammed, Karl Marx, John Stuart Mill, Buddah, Jesus Christ and Ghandi have all formed my code and I’m richer for it.
Have an interest in how other people live. Travel to places you’ve never been, learn a new language, play a new musical instrument and if you’ve never eaten sushi, you should make that a priority.
Seriously, I can’t tell you the regret I have for all the years of my life wasted not eating sushi because I feared it.
To find yourself you need to be open to change. The dreams and aspirations you have right now probably won’t be the same one year from now, four years from now and definitely not eight years from now.
My own priorities have shifted from line-backing to business courses to the political life in Washington DC to a rural farm in Rwanda and have landed me as a leader in my church community in New York City. I’ve loved every stop along the journey because I’ve been open to change.
To find yourself you’ll need to take risks and do things that scare you. I promise you that, success or failure, these will be the most rewarding decisions you ever make.
Some of the most formidable moments in my life have been failures. The successes, including diving off the tallest bungee jump in the world and moving to NYC without a job or money have been some of the most fun.
Finally, a quest to find yourself does not fit into the “you only live once” YOLO mantra. YOLO is BS. Its an excuse to do things without consideration of consequence. Your decisions do have consequences. Seek out the consequences in your life and make these your dreams and goals. Make your dreams big and do things every day that lead you in their direction.
Now, I see about four dads with arms crossed in the gym right now. Near the front over here I just heard Grandpa whisper to his wife “Who is this hippie? Didn’t we get rid of them after the ‘60s?”
What I’m saying is not license to shirk responsibility. For finding yourself is only valuable if you give it to others. Living only for oneself is not only selfish, its short-sighted and irresponsible.
You’re cheating both the world and yourself if you fall into this temptation. The most rewarding thing that we can do as people is to dedicate our energies to something bigger than ourselves.
Give yourself to others. Find a community and engage in it, whether its your town, school, church, club or team, give yourself to it and make sacrifices to make it better.
Take all these leadership skills you’ve learned along the way and get others to come along with you. Whether you're volunteering for a cause or have a relationship with a friend or family member, give yourself to it.
Give to it freely and genuinely. You’ll feel amazing as a person, and you’ll be making the world a better place simply by engaging, caring and being present in it. Because, as Mother Theresa said, “We belong to each other.”
As you are finding yourself, you’ll need to find your own way to give it to others in your relationships and in your community. And for the love of God, please vote.
Find yourself and then give it to others.
I don’t know a whole lot. And I’m only eight years older than you. I figured that to keep myself from feeling like too much of a fraud I should only leave you with eight words of advice, one for each year of life experience I have over you. Find yourself and then give it to others.
You’ll have your diplomas in a few minutes. Use them as springboards to achieve your own personal greatness, a greatness that will follow you on your quest of finding yourself and then giving to others.
Congratulations, Godspeed. And go on... Commence!
